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  I took the crop from her hands, placing it on the bed. “Stand and turn away from me.”

  With the graceful way she rose, it didn’t look like she’d spent the last ten to fifteen minutes in one position without so much as easing the pressure from her knees. She turned, still keeping her head lowered. The rise and fall of her chest as I moved to the side had my own breath quickening.

  “Hold your arms out behind you.”

  I didn’t wait. I slid the belt around her biceps, restraining them together. It was tight enough to give off the secured feeling, but not enough to add discomfort. The first night would be an introduction. Over time, I could break her in to the more sadistic part of me.

  “You’re doing great.” My fingers slid into the back of her hair, right at the nape of her neck and I used it to guide her to face me. My other hand rose and I used my index finger to bring her gaze up to mine. “Head up through this next phase. Stare straight ahead, but never directly at me. Understood?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Even as I had spoken, my touch was already traveling down the side of her neck. I didn’t stop as I swept down between her cleavage and over her stomach. In heels, her eyes were level with my upper chest. She kept that position and didn’t move while I breached the lining of her lace panties. The smoothness that met my fingertips had my cock jerking. It only got worse at the wetness I was greeted with. Fuck, I wanted her as badly as she obviously wanted me.

  The slight trembling that shook her body increased while I massaged over the top of her slit. She moaned and her shoulders shifted as if she wanted to reach out to me.

  “It’s about to get really intense. Prepare yourself, kitten.”

  My grip went back to her hair and I pulled back hard while sliding my finger into her entrance. The cry that met me was one of pure bliss, but I didn’t get to enjoy it like I had expected. The tightness that hugged against me had my eyes widening. God, I could tell she wasn’t a virgin, but how long had it been?

  “Victoria, when was the last time you had sex?” Maybe I worded it wrong or my tone was too filled with shock, but I felt her stiffen and I didn’t like how fast she was pulled from the moment.

  “I…” She swallowed and tried to take a step back, but didn’t go anywhere with my hold still tilting her head. Her eyes were full of fear as she stared up at me. I’d never worried about breaking a sub. It usually didn’t take me long to discover how far they could go. But with her, I didn’t have a clue about her boundaries. Couldn’t gage how much she could take, physically or mentally.

  “Shh. It doesn’t matter. I’m just looking out for you. You have the safeword if you need it. I’m trusting you to use it, like you’re trusting me to stop. Remember that.”

  The tears that welled in her eyes slowly faded as I went back to rubbing against her folds. I felt her loosening under my tight grip, allowing herself to belong to me completely as I continued to pleasure her.

  I opened my fist, only to close it even harder around her thick hair. The small whimpers drove me over the cliff of my control. My lips traveled over her exposed neck and I left her pussy, but stayed in her panties, as I reached around and clutched her ass, pulling her even more into me. My teeth grazed against her soft skin, picking up the scent from her soap. It muddled my senses, something that didn’t happen with any of the women I’d been with. I reached her shoulder and sunk my teeth in with just enough pressure to cause her to gasp.

  “Tonight, I’m going to treat you like you’re mine. For keeps.”

  As I lifted her feet from the ground and carried her to lie on the edge of the bed, I couldn’t stop myself from going back to taste her again. One of my main rules always revolved around excluding the intimate act. Fucking was just that, but a kiss was special. Something to savor and cherish.

  “Sir,” she moaned against my lips. “Please.”

  “God dammit!” The memories faded as I lifted my hand away from my hard cock and threw the covers back. Why did I have to run into her again? I’d done so well with moving on. Well, not really. I’d turned into a walking fucking drunk disaster, screwing every woman I chose. Which was too many to count. Why didn’t she want me? It couldn’t have been my looks. She had said I was beautiful. Odd choice of words to call a man in my opinion, but it told me she was at least attracted to my appearance. Was it the circumstances we found ourselves in? Going home together the first night? Later on, she’d said it had been a year and a half since she’d been with anyone. Maybe I’d ruined it by rushing her into my bed.

  I stood and headed for the shower, trying to ignore how every nerve ending in my body was blazing and ready to go. The water shot out ice cold and I left it that way as I forced myself under the stream. My palms flattened against the marble in front of me and I closed my eyes as I lowered my head into the water.

  “When I finish, you thank me and address me properly.” My hand reared back as I took in the sight before me. Victoria’s head lay on the mattress, her ass in the air. Her arms were still restrained against her back by my belt. Dark waves from her hair almost blended into the sapphire silk sheets and with the white stockings and stilettos…I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.

  Whack! The spanking hadn’t been gentle and it would only continue to get harder. Her face turned into the mattress and she sucked in air.

  “One. Thank you, Sir.”

  Whack!

  “Two.” She hesitated. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Last one, kitten.” My hand traced over the welts already beginning to swell from the paddle. The pink glow was brightening by the second and it made my blood race.

  Whack!

  A small cry broke through and she sniffled. “Three. Thank you, Sir.”

  As I turned her around and set her to the edge of the bed, I kneeled so we were facing each other. “Tell me why you got those spankings.”

  Mascara ran down her cheeks at the tears and I placed my thumb over one, smearing the black into her pale skin. There it was…proof of the darkness that dwelled within me.

  “I didn’t follow your instructions.” Her eyes rose to mine. “And because you like it…Sir.” The way a smile jerked against her lips had me mirroring the action.

  “Yes, I do.” I spread more of the mascara on the other side. “I like this very much.”

  “Me too,” she said, lowering her gaze.

  I stepped back from the water, letting the memory of her vanish on that note. Victoria liked that aspect of my life. Was attracted to my looks. That left one thing. Who I was. Had she discovered all the women? If she researched my name or asked anyone…of course she had. I did this to myself. Made this mess that now surrounded my once good name. It was time I fixed it. Dommed up.

  Chapter 6

  Victoria

  “You told him what!” Lorraine rushed to catch up as I rounded the corner to the hospital and headed for the entrance. “Have you lost your mind, Victoria? He’s going to find out and when he does,” her arm reached out, pulling me to a stop, “he’ll take her away from you. Mark my words, honey. Fix this mistake. Tell him about Ava. There’s still time to right this wrong.”

  Words wouldn’t come as I let her warnings register. Just the thought that my daughter would be removed from my care made the nervousness a million times worse. “I will tell him. Just…not yet. He said he’s changed. I have to see it for myself. Besides, no judge would place a child with a man who can’t even take care of himself. I’ve seen him so drunk he couldn’t even stand, and that was only a few weeks ago. He blatantly makes out with women on the street and he’s probably drunk then too. Yes, when I saw him he looked sober, but I don’t trust that this change will stick.”

  Her head shook disapprovingly. “Time is your worst enemy. The longer you keep her away, the worse things will be. I haven’t lived almost sixty years and learned nothing, honey. Trust me. Introduce them before he discovers what you’re hiding and the choice is taken from you.”

  She had a point. If he disco
vered my secret on his own, things were bound to get bad. He had money. These days everything was for sale. Possibly judges. And if not, he sure as hell could afford the best lawyer in the country.

  “Soon. I promise.”

  “Good,” she breathed out, wrapping her arm around me and leading me to the entrance. My eyes blinked and I planted my feet, back tracking.

  “What the…” I pulled the paper out of the stand, seeing Devlin’s face plastered on the front page. “Oh. My. God.” As I scanned down the ad, I felt the ground shift from beneath my feet. This was what he was referring to.

  “Settling down?” Lorraine moved in closer, over my shoulder. “Perfect! This is great news. Here, call him.” My purse was pulled from my shoulder and I snatched it back.

  “Absolutely not,” I snapped. “Is this a joke?” My head wouldn’t stop shaking back and forth as I stared down at the print. “Interviewing starts at three?” I read down more. “Oh, nice. Look,” I said sarcastically, pointing to the bottom. “A contract. So basically, you can’t divorce him when he starts cheating on you. How considerate of him.”

  Lorraine pulled the paper from my grasp. “You’re taking this all wrong. It looks like he saw the error of his ways and now has decided to get his life together. You can’t fault him for that. Besides,” she said, glancing over. “This is in his favor. Think about it, Victoria. Proof he wants a family. He’s got one! He just doesn’t know it yet. Call him.”

  I growled, heading to the cafeteria. To say I wasn’t jealous was a lie. After everything I’d seen, nothing hurt more than this. I was never able to imagine him wanting to play it straight. Not even when he tried to tell me. Now, so publicly seeking what I knew I could give him… Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. He could play this game all he wanted. There was no way me or my daughter would be a part of it. Never. Devlin Black was not to be trusted. I had to remember that.

  Coffee burnt my hand as I tried to fit the lid on the Styrofoam cup. Maybe if I put in a transfer, left Los Angeles for good, then I wouldn’t have to hear about him.

  Dom Up. Jesus, I could scream. I didn’t want to imagine what Lorraine was thinking while reading that. Embarrassment set my skin on fire. Thank God no one knew who the father to Ava was.

  A large group of nurses walked into the opened space and I weaved around them, only to slow down as I heard his name.

  “Devlin Black. Mm-mmm. I’m going. I’ll be the first one in line to sign up,” a Hispanic woman in her thirties said, laughing. “I hear they’re giving personal interviews to the ones that catch their eye. Not just the video ones. You can bet I’ll be looking my best, just in case.”

  More laughter was followed by an older woman speaking. “It says all shapes and sizes. That means me. I’m in.”

  “What’s a Dom?” A young blonde glanced up from the paper she held long enough to pull a chair out.

  A black woman reached out, taking the paper. “If you don’t know, you ain’t got no business going.” The group burst into another round of giggles almost causing me to lose it.

  I spun around, heading to the elevator. It didn’t take me long to see what was on everyone’s mind. The moment I opened the door and headed to the back…more laughter.

  “Have you seen him in person? Holy, fuck me now. That man is sexiness wrapped in a package of—”

  Farah paused as she glanced up, continuing when I dismissed them and headed to put my purse away. Each response left me so torn over what I was feeling, I quickly spiraled to some emotional abyss I was going to have to dig my way out of.

  “Hey, Victoria, you going with us? They’re keeping the doors open until around nine tonight. We’ll have plenty of time to get there.”

  I turned and headed to the table, smiling. “No, that’s quite alright. You ladies have fun.”

  “Oh, come on. Have you seen him?”

  Farrah shoved the paper in my face and it took everything I had not to slam my fist into his printed face. What had he been thinking by putting himself on the front page of a chick magnet edition of some stupid paper? Didn’t he have enough women groveling at his feet? Now he needed more? If he were truly looking for a wife and someone to start a family with, couldn’t he just look in respectable places? Not clubs or parties, where he probably spent his time. And definitely not by placing an ad in a paper.

  The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

  “Five minutes,” Clara said, sighing.

  For a married mother of five, she was usually over-happy. Today, she just looked stressed. I grinned and leaned over. “Everything okay? You seem upset.”

  “I’m good.” The fake smile melted almost as soon as it appeared. “Actually,” she lowered her voice and got closer. “I’m looking to cover some shifts. Harry lost his job and we could really use the extra money. You wouldn’t happen to have any I can pick up, do you? I hate asking since you’re providing for your little girl on your own, but…”

  My heart ached for her. This wasn’t the first time her husband had been either laid off or fired. It seemed to happen once every few months.

  “I’ll check my schedule. A few days off will probably do me good.”

  “Oh, God, thank you, Victoria. Really, I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

  I grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. Lorraine walking in had us all quieting.

  “Okay, ladies.”

  The address was nothing more than for us to stop gossiping and start getting ready to work. Her head motioned and I stood, following her to the side.

  “I want your permission to talk to Daniel about your situation. He practices family law. Maybe he can steer us in the right direction on what you need to do.”

  My mouth opened, but she held up her hand.

  “Hear me out. Someday, whether it be tomorrow or ten years from now, he’s going to find out about Ava. Maybe you’ll be the one to tell him, maybe not. Regardless, the courts are going to have to deal with your case. I think it would be smart to see where you stand. Before shit hits the fan.”

  The weight of the world had me lowering my head. There was so much on my plate. A mortgage, a daughter, bills, now a legal situation? But she was right. I’d be a fool not to at least talk to him.

  “Okay,” I nodded. “Actually. I haven’t clocked in yet.” I looked down at my watch. “How in need are we here today? I’d really like to visit his office and talk to him in a professional setting.”

  Lorraine’s eyes scanned the area. “Go ahead. We’re good. You haven’t missed a day in I don’t know how long. Go settle things with Ava. I’ll call Daniel and let him know you’re on your way. His office is downtown. Hold on, I think I have his card.” She walked over, pulling one from her wallet and handing it to me.

  “Thanks.” I threw her a quick hug and walked over, grabbing my purse.

  Leaving the hospital felt strange when I knew I was supposed to be there. I spent more time in that building than I did at home. Which was sad, I wish I never had to leave my daughter’s side. But taking the day off was good. I could go talk to Daniel and then spend the rest of the day with Ava. It’d be nice to be able to take her to the park. My mother usually did that since my shift didn’t end until seven at night. Now, it could just be me and her.

  I smiled as I headed for the bus. As I waited, vibrating had me looking down. I pulled out my phone, seeing Lorraine’s number.

  “Hey.” I took a seat on the bench.

  “The office doesn’t open until eight, but he said there’s a coffee place across the street if you wanted to stop there to kill some time.”

  “That sounds great. I’ll do that.”

  I hung up, watching the people and cars go by. I let my mind go back to the night Devlin and I met. Back then, I’d been just as hot and cold as I am now. Although definitely more hot. Even with as arrogant as he could be, I saw a side of him that made me think there was possibly something there worth chancing. Even during the early stages of my pregnancy, I contemplated o
n trying to make it work, although he never returned my calls. Until I saw the real him for myself, drunk, with all those women. It killed me. And repeated to on each occasion I’d been faced with.

  The bus appeared in the distance and I stood, blocking all the painful memories. A numbness took over and I let it. My past before Devlin only consisted of one boy from college. We dated all four years and I thought he’d been the one. He took my virginity and my heart, destroying both. Richard only wanted me for a cover, someone to proclaim to the world he was straight and suited for a future in politics. His efforts in bed had been lackluster to say the least, and despite realizing why that was, I still thought it was my fault. My trust had never been the same after that. Years went by while I healed and moved on with my life. Then, came Devlin. We were never supposed to meet. Yet, we had, and I couldn’t regret it. Ava was my gift and she meant everything in the world to me.

  The bus stopped and I climbed in, zoning out again. The trip wasn’t that far, only making two stops before I exited, heading down the block to where the address was. People were out in droves and I kept my distance as I weaved around them. My steps slowed as I looked down the road at a gathering line. Every thought in my mind went up in smoke, leaving me completely blank.

  “No fucking way,” I said, under my breath. Cautiously, I continued to get closer. Posters plastered to the glass became clear and I almost had to laugh at the irony. Fate, Karma, whoever was responsible for me ending up at the same location as Devlin’s sign-ups, was such a bitch. What were the chances?

  I made my way into the coffee house and stopped dead in my tracks. Spinning for the exit, I almost lost my footing.

  “Come on, Branson, that’s ridiculous.” From the sound of Devlin’s voice, I knew he was right behind me. The urge to take off in a sprint had me slowing even more. I didn’t want to stir the slightest suspicion. “I told you, I’m done. She made it clear there’s nothing between us.”

  “Just let me figure out what hospital she works at. I’ll talk to her.”