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  A couple sat down not far away and I watched how they interacted. The man was polite enough. He stood to the side of her chair and pushed it in after she sat. They smiled at each other as he took his seat and they both grabbed the menus, laying them on the table. Typical. Where was the spark? The one that left them moving in closer and saying to hell with the food?

  Movement had me looking over and I rose as the woman from the picture walked forward with the hostess.

  “Mr. Black.” Her arm outstretched and I paused before reaching forward to shake her hand. What was this, a business deal? Well…it kind of was. Still, I didn’t even have a chance to step over to her chair before she sat down and scooted closer to the table.

  I eased down, studying her as I took my seat. “Meredith, thank you for deciding to meet me.” The waiter walked up and she glanced over, smiling. It was nice enough. Perfect white teeth. Smaller lips and nose. Welcoming eyes. She was more on the skinnier side, but she had nice breasts. Half of them were spilling out of the top of her dress. Something I didn’t care much for.

  “Martini. Dry,” she said, with a flick of her wrist.

  My hand froze as I reached for my glass.

  “I was delighted to get the call.” She gave me her full attention, completely dismissing Randy. I watched both of his eyebrows raise in a surprised disbelief. This wasn’t going to work. I took a deep breath and leaned back, already relaxing.

  “Well, you caught the eye of my friend and his wife. They thought you’d be a good match for me. I’m afraid I don’t agree. I’m sorry to waste your time.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Drama was something I wasn’t looking for, but I wasn’t about to beat around the bush either. “Nothing personal. Really, I’m sure you’re lovely, but to be truthful, that man you just snubbed, he’s my friend. I found the way you dismissed him to be really rude.”

  “The waiter?” She glanced to where he had been and brought her attention back to me. “I didn’t mean to appear that way. You had said something and I had to pause in answering. If anything, I didn’t want to be the one who was being rude. Wow, I guess what they say is true. You really are a dick.”

  I laughed, nodding. “That assessment is probably right. Now, are you leaving or am I?”

  There was a flicker behind her eyes and I knew something bad was coming. I grabbed my water just as she reached for it.

  “That would have been a horrible mistake. Don’t make this worse than it has to be. Turn and walk.” I motioned with my fingers and she spun on her heels, stalking to the door like a bull ready to destroy everything in its path. “Well, shit.” I glanced over as Randy slowed, looking around. “I’ll take that, thanks.” I stood, grabbing the martini glass and removing the olive. “To Victoria.” I tipped it in his direction and brought it back, downing the alcohol in one long drink. “Put the drinks on my tab. I’m out.” The glass hit the table harder than I intended and I didn’t wait. I pulled my phone from my pocket and broke through the entrance of the restaurant, not even bothering to head toward my car.

  “Mr. Black?” The valet look confused and I held up my hand, pulling up Branson’s number and hitting the button.

  “You didn’t,” he exploded as he answered.

  “She snubbed Randy. I told you I didn’t like her.” Branson tried to cut me off, but I didn’t let him. “I’m headed to the beach. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  The tie fell to the sidewalk at my pull and I jerked at the buttons against my neck. They were threatening to suffocate me more by the second. My phone rang and I groaned. “Oh, Branson. You just don’t get it.” I answered, more for Jill than him. “What?”

  “I’m sending date number two to join you. She’s going to find you across from the parking lot. Don’t screw this one up. And she’s blonde, in case you don’t remember.”

  Was there really a point to argue? “Let me to talk to Jill.”

  “You’re the most stubborn person I’ve met in my life. Hold on.”

  I smiled, jogging across the street.

  “Dev, sweetie. What’s going on?”

  Calming rushed through me at her voice. “I’m not sure I’m ready. I know what I want, but I’m not sure it’s with any of them. This was a mistake.”

  “No, turning your back on this opportunity would be a mistake. Do me a favor. Don’t look at this as a date. Talk to her without throwing judgment. Just have a conversation with no expectations. If you don’t click, there’s nothing to lose. Maybe you’ll make a new friend out of it.”

  The parking lot was practically empty as I strolled across. “Yeah, I’ll try that. Thanks, Jill.”

  “Anytime. Call back if you need us.”

  “Thanks.” I hung up, approaching the sand. Waves crashed ahead and I took a deep breath, relishing in the sound. Better. This is what I needed.

  I took off my socks and shoes and started walking closer. Even the sand between my toes had my pulse slowing. I sat down, content to staring toward the darkening sky. A rainbow of colors layered the horizon, blue, yellow, pink, and then a light blue. For what felt life hours passed. If I moved, I wasn’t aware of it. It took a tap on my shoulder to break me from my thoughts. I stood, surprised.

  “Hi, I’m Clarissa.” The short blonde was on the bigger side, but it suited her beautifully. A light blue sundress the color of the sky blew in the wind, and at her shyness, I liked her instantly.

  “Devlin. Thanks for coming.” I removed my jacket, placing it on the sand. “Sit with me and tell me about yourself.” The sand shifted between my toes and I sat down, patting my jacket. Clarissa eased to my side, stealing a glance as she did.

  “Well, I’m twenty-nine. I’m a chef at Penzorri’s and I have a doctorate in Psychology, but I have no plan to ever use it.”

  I laughed, taking a better look at her. Green eyes with specks of gold. Not the color of Victoria’s, but still nice. “So what made you decide to take the chef route?”

  “I love to cook. Always have. It was the main way I helped pay for school and I just stuck with it. When the passion is there, you can’t turn your back on it, no matter what.”

  My head lowered. I could disagree with that. I had a passion for Victoria, but I couldn’t keep pursuing her. Not when she didn’t want anything between us.

  “Agreed,” I said, lowly. My attention went back to the water. “Tell me what you know about me and this contract I have.”

  Her fingers went to the sand just past the edge of the jacket and she began drawing shapes. “You’re looking to settle down. Your lifestyle is one I’m not too familiar with, but I have done some research into the BDSM world. I think I’d enjoy it. Like you, I’m ready to get married and have kids. My life has been my work and I have no intention of quitting if you pick me, but I would like to take a good year off after… I mean, if I…” Her cheeks flushed and I liked her even more. Victoria’s did the same thing.

  “If you were to have my child. Is that what you mean to say?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  I leaned over, kissing the top of her head. “No use apologizing.” I stood, holding out my hand. The antsy feeling was still there, but I was hoping if I moved it would decrease. “Let’s go for a walk. I’ll tell you what you can expect if we decide to go into this partnership together. You can get a better idea and see if you’re even interested afterward.

  She stood, pausing before her fingers interlaced with mine. It was odd; strange to open myself up to anyone. With Victoria, it came natural. I got a small taste with Clarissa, but I was really having to force it.

  “I’m a lot of things. Honest, blunt, and I can be hard to get along with at times, but I know what I want.” I eased to a stop, turning to her. “Control is a big thing with me. At all times, I will hold it. Not you. If I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done.” The water rushed past my ankles and pulled at the bottom of her dress. My eyes stayed lowered, watching as it stuck to her legs. “For example,” I said, looking back up. “The
demands may be as simple as, don’t lie to me. It’s my main rule. I hate liars. And it’s easy enough to follow. But the scope goes a lot deeper than that. As a sub, you will obey my every word. I will never disrespect you, but if I told you to get on your knees and suck my cock right here, you better do it.”

  Her eyes blinked rapidly and she looked around at the nearly deserted beach. My hand cupped her chin, bringing her back to face me.

  “That wasn’t an order, but an example. You have to know how far this might go—the real me. Otherwise, this won’t work. And I want to know the real you. Brutal honesty, no matter how bad it is. I don’t judge. I think I’ve done everything possible. What is life if you haven’t experimented, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, nodding.

  “On your knees.” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as the confusion played across her face. She lowered, a wave soaking her hips as she glanced up.

  “Good. Now tell me, Clarissa. Have you ever done drugs?”

  When her hands clasped in her lap, I knew she was thinking of what all to tell me.

  “Weed in high school. Tried cocaine a few times in college. Even took ecstasy once. Mainly peer situations. Friends were doing them, so I decided to try them too. I’ve been clean for seven years. I don’t even drink alcohol.”

  I smiled. “Thank you for your honesty. What’s been your longest relationship?”

  “Two years. It ended a year ago.”

  “How many people have you slept with? Do you even know? Have there been multiple people involved? Remember, honesty. I will find out the truth so I’d like to hear it from you first.”

  Red stained her cheeks and she reached to steady herself as another wave crashed into her side. “I don’t know how many. A lot. Especially in college. I was with three men at one time.” Her head shook as she stared at my knees. “I can’t change my past. There have been things I’m ashamed of, but what’s done is done.”

  “Indeed.” I lowered to face her. The uncertainty left her eyes searching mine.

  “Are you going to dismiss me?”

  The longer I looked into the green irises, the more I realized that I could possibly grow feelings for her if I continued to get to know her. Time would show me her real personality and that was the key.

  “Your answers haven’t disqualified you if that’s what you mean.” She took my hand as we stood. “I’m starving. What do you say we go back to my place and I’ll order in? There are a few more tests I want to put you through before the night is over with. We’ll see just how much of a sub you really want to be, and if you even like me at the end of it. What do you say?”

  Chapter 10

  Victoria

  Orange and black streamers looped around the ceiling, matching the confetti that decorated the small convention center the hospital had booked for the Halloween party. Music played in the background and a few people were on the dance floor. Rita, for one, who had had a little bit too much to drink before she’d even arrived. Lorraine leaned over, the braids from her Dorothy costume falling over her shoulders.

  “And she wonders why she doesn’t have my job. Every year and she never learns.”

  I laughed, adjusting the cat ears on my head. “Do you think she’ll come on to Dr. Rafferty this year? Maybe corner him outside the restrooms again?” I kept my voice down, even though I knew Ava wasn’t old enough to understand.

  “Wouldn’t that be something? Let’s hope not, his wife is here this time. I hear she’s a bit overprotective of her husband. Last thing we need is a catfight to ruin this one. Last time it was Denise breaking her leg. I think I’d like to see what happens if we can make it to ten o’clock this time.”

  Ava squirmed in my lap and I stood, standing her on the floor. “I’m sure only more interesting things would happen.” I glanced down as she yawned. “I think I’m going to let her walk around. Eight is her bedtime and it’s already fifteen after. She’s getting restless.”

  “I’ll go with you.” Lorraine kissed Martin’s cheek, making him pause in his conversation with Dr. Emery. The smile he flashed her had me mirroring him. They were so cute when they were together.

  Ava wrapped her hand around my fingers and stayed close as she started heading in the direction of the far end of the room. Her tutu swayed with every step and at almost a year and a half old, she was really starting to blossom from baby to toddler. Although, I didn’t see her that way. She’d been walking since eight months and pretty much had running down. Tripping was common, but it didn’t stop her from trying.

  “You never told me exactly what happened with Devlin. He came to your house?”

  I looked over, the memories flooding back with a vengeance. It had been almost two weeks since that day and my body felt just as alive now as it had been then. Talking about how everything turned out flipped my stomach, making me feel sick.

  “Yeah, somehow he got my number and address. He heard Ava crying in the background.”

  Lorraine’s eyes grew wide. “What did you tell him?”

  I looked down as she slowed. “That the neighbors were over and it was their kid. I felt horrible. I almost told him then, but I just couldn’t.”

  “Victoria.” She shook her head. “This is going to be bad. I can feel it.”

  “I can too. You should have heard him when he asked me if it was his kid.” I held in the tears as I turned to her. “He was so mad.”

  “As he has a right to be.”

  All I could do was nod. “We, uh…” My hand pressed into my mouth as I looked for the words. “We…”

  “No,” she gasped. “Again? Where?”

  “The side of my house. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just couldn’t stop myself! What is wrong with me?”

  Lorraine reached and took my hand. “You love him. Just admit it.” At my head tilting, she squeezed my fingers. “Tell him everything, Victoria. Get over this fear and let him in. It might be the best thing you’ve ever done.” She glanced down at Ava. “At least tell me you used protection.”

  At my silence, she cursed under her breath. “You better pray to all that’s holy your period comes. If not…hell, I don’t want to imagine. You’ll have to tell him then. You can’t hide two.”

  “I know,” I breathed out. “Actually. I’ve been thinking and I’ve been looking for jobs in San Francisco.”

  Lorraine’s mouth dropped open. “Don’t you dare run away. You have a nice house and a great job with people here who love you. That’ll be the biggest mistake ever. Worse than…” she waved her hand. “Just stay. I’ll help you as much as I can. Come here.” She pulled me into her side and we all turned, letting Ava walk back in the direction we’d come.

  “When does your monthly come?”

  A smile came to my face and I couldn’t stop it. “Three days, give or take. I’m not all that regular. Sometimes it arrives on cue, other times, I can be a week or so late. I’m not worried, though. With Ava, I had morning sickness the day I was late. I feel fine.”

  “I never had morning sickness with Jared. Don’t go off of that. Test and do it often. You’re going to want to know immediately. That way we can come up with a plan.”

  “Okay.” Ava pulled against my hand and I broke away from Lorraine to pick her up. “I think we’re going. It’s bed time and truthfully, I’m exhausted.”

  “Sounds great. You two be safe on your way home.”

  Squirming had me bringing her up higher on my chest. “I have the car, we’ll be fine. You and Martin have fun.” I kissed her cheek and headed for the table, saying my goodbyes. We weren’t driving for five minutes before I looked back in the rearview mirror to see Ava sleeping. Her round cheeks were flushed from the excitement of the day and her full lips were slightly puckered. Ringlets that escaped from the small bun were framing her face, but I hadn’t expected them to stay pulled back. She barely had enough length to fit in the rubber band. With little bow decorated clips, we managed to make her look like a ballerina. And she’d l
oved it. I smiled, bringing my focus back to the road. What a great night. I almost hadn’t come, but I wanted to spend time with Ava around the people I worked with. They all loved her and had begged me to attend. It didn’t take much for me to give in.

  The light turned yellow ahead and I slowed. Pedestrians were out in the droves, dressed in their costumes, and a large group darted through the crosswalk. Ghosts, witches, and even a little boy about two, who was dressed as a pumpkin. I laughed as he waved and I waved back. Ava had done her trip around the neighborhood before we’d left. It was surprising she’d lasted as long as she had.

  Green flashed above and I drove through, going another block before I turned onto my road. Getting to the house took a few minutes due the crowds, but I was finally able to pull in to the driveway. As I got Ava out, I covered her ears, trying to drown out the noise of the laughter and yelling from the kids in the background.

  “Trick or treat!”

  I moved past my mother, smiling, as she handed out candy. Crying filled Ava’s room as I laid her on the changing table and began to undress her. Curls tightened, bouncing up while I took down her hair and slipped the nightgown over her head. By the time I put her in her crib, she was already asleep again.

  “What a day you had,” I whispered. Usually when she woke up, she was wide awake. That clearly wasn’t the case now. “I love you,” I whispered, sliding my finger down her cheek. The small stir had me stopping before I was up for the next for hours with her.

  I walked out, easing the door closed. My mother was still handing out candy as I entered the living area.

  “Quite the turn out this year again.” I moved in closer, peering out the door as more kids ran up.

  “Oh, yeah. It’s been nonstop since you left. We’re about out of candy.” She stuck some in the pumpkins and bags, turning back to me as the kids ran off. “Devlin came by not long after you left. Did he call you?”